Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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