some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
