In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
