Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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