And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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