But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
