On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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