R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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