What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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