I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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