Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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