at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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