so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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