Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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