No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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