i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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