Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
