Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
