Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
