I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
