I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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