New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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