that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
