Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
