remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
