threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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