when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
