Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
