what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
