Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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