You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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