Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize