it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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