piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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