I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
