is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
