when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
