ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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