Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
