I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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