I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
