Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
