he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
