I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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