I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
