i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
