apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
