Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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