This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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