Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
