fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
