Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
