she was so not down for the gang bang
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
