what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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