I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
