my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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