there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His hands were made for my vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I want to fling myself into the sun
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
