Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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