Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
