Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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