It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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