Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize