ya dads aren't the best wingmen
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
